A Convenient Truth at Toastmasters by Meryl Runion

Whitewash
Have you ever been beside yourself? I’m talking about the kind of mind-body disconnect where your body is there but your mind is someone else. That’s what I was like that day.

I took a deep breath as I observed the clock. It seemed to drag and fly at the same time. I didn’t hear a word the Toastmaster said until the sound of my name reached me through my fog. I somehow found my way to the front of the room.

The light from the window obscured the view of my audience. I was relieved that I couldn’t clearly see their reactions to my first speech ever. My mouth was moving, but I wasn’t aware enough to supervise what came out. I somehow knew when to stop and sat down to hear my presentation evaluated.

I feared the evaluation more than the presentation itself. I shouldn’t have. My evaluation was a whitewash. The evaluator sang my praises and failed to note a single flaw or idea for improvement. Wow. I must have been some kind of speaking genius.

I continued to present speeches and continued to receive rave reviews of my amazing, flawless presentations until something happened after my forth speech that took me down from my cloud.

Betrayed by the truth
What happened? I received an honest review. Bonnie, my evaluator, identified the strengths of my presentation and proceeded to identify the areas where I could improve.

I felt mistreated, abandoned and betrayed. Bonnie broke the rules! She was supposed to tell me how perfect I was like the others had done.

Yet beneath my inner protest I knew she had given me a far greater gift.

Nothing less than the truth would do
About a month later, I resolved to enter the Toastmasters humorous speech contest. Suddenly I was serious. Suddenly I wanted honest feedback. Suddenly I wanted Bonnie to evaluate all my speeches. And suddenly Bonnie left the club and was no longer available to tell me how I could improve.

I won second place for the Iowa Humorous Speech Competition that year. Had Bonnie been able to coach me, might I have won first?

A feast of feedback
Years later I sent a videotape of a Toastmasters speech to the largest seminar company in the United States. I was thrilled when they flew me in for an audition and later hired me.

At that point, when I spoke, 40 – 400 people who had paid money to hear me evaluated me each day. Some of the evaluations were whitewashes. Some were critical but lacking in recommendations I could implement. But mixed in, there were useful evaluations that Bonnie could have written. I used those evaluations to help me improve.

Now, I book my own speaking engagements. My platform is to Speak Strong – to be willing to tell people what they need to hear, even when they are reluctant to hear it. Bonnie demonstrated what it means to Speak Strong when she evaluated my presentation accurately.

A great resource
My career began for me at Toastmasters with a woman who was willing to tell me what I needed to know. I was terrified at my first presentation, and 1000 presentations later I still deal with that fear every time I present. I dreaded feedback then, and I still embrace it with trepidation today. But I love to speak more than I fear it, and I am grateful for the support that helped me get where I am.

Have you ever been beside yourself? It’s easy to disconnect and easier to give up. But then you’d miss the Toastmasters’ opportunity to learn how to speak well. You’d miss the opportunity to hear what you need to hear. You’d miss the opportunity to learn make your point so others get your point. You’d miss a fabulous opportunity to Speak Strong. What an opportunity that is!

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Meryl Runion and Speak Strong (SpeakStrong) provides Power Phrases (PowerPhrases) and other tools to help you improve communication skills at work and at home.

She is the author of the books Speak Strong, PowerPhrases!, How to Use PowerPhrases, Perfect Phrases for Managers and Supervisors and How to Say It: Performance Reviews. She can be reached at 719-684-2633 or by email: E-mail Meryl.